45. Thus Spake Po

The hardest thing about doing the right thing for yourself is you usually have to do it alone.


[...] but it is likely that we fall in love with people who bring out the part of ourselves we want to see more of.

At some point, we have to give up the habit of measuring ourselves against our peers.



And did you get what
You wanted from this life even so?
I did.
-- Raymond Carver


Here are some of the obstacles that hold Phi Beta Slackers back. First, they use money as a measuring stick. They jump among high-priced jobs, believing the elevated salary is a proxy for respect. Second, they have a strong need to belong to the smartest crowd. Third, they continuously find something to prove. They keep finding new challenges, new crowds to win over. Eventually, there’s nothing left to prove, and they have to face the question, “Okay, I’ve proven I’m smart. Now, who am I? What am I going to do with my smarts?”

“After college, I worked for a year at an insurance company. I decided to go to oxford for a year, because, well, it was Oxford. I told the other women at work, and one said, ‘I wish I could just up and go to Oxford.’ So I asked, ‘Why don’t you?’ She said, ‘I would, but I bought a couch.’”

It’s not a point of pride with me.

Failure’s hard, but success is far more dangerous. If you’re successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and money and opportunity can lock you in forever. It is so, so much harder to leave a good thing.